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I also got out the wife's biggest dildo and some lube. I put the cock ring on and lubed up my hungry ass rubbing the lube into my hot asshole, I inserted the dildo into my ass and was fucking my self with it. I could feel my balls swelling up. My wife started me eating my cum on our honeymoon, and now I wanted to taste my cum so I hunched over on my shoulders, my legs above my head, against the headboard and my fat cock pointed at my face. Someone in the movie was saying, "fuck me, fuck me." I had the dildo wedged deep in my ass. I pulled the fast release string on the cockring, my balls were released and I was staring at my cockhead and watched it shoot hot strings of cum all over my face. I opened my mouth and ate all I could, letting the rest coat my face, slicking me like a nasty cum slut. God that was hot, I thought.That was before I realized what was really happening. My wife Cindy was standing in the doorway watching everything. It scared me so much that my anal muscles tighten. And it wasn’t even because meat is bad for you.He said that “raising cattle was bad for the planet -- with cow flatulence in the ozone and the clearing of land for the raising of cattle. What are you doing to help the environment?”“I’m eating the cow.”On Deer Hunting:If you ever miss one, it’s because the bullet’s moving too fast.Slow the bullet down to 55 miles an hour, put some headlights and a little horn on it -- the deer will actually jump in front of the bullet.There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.”The kids ran off, made up their own sign.
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